Welcome to Moorcock's Miscellany

Dear reader,

Many people have given their valuable time to create a website for the pleasure of posing questions to Michael Moorcock, meeting people from around the world, and mining the site for information. Please follow one of the links above to learn more about the site.

Thank you,
Reinart der Fuchs
See more
See less

Story Challenge - Crucifiction

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • CandyFlossCow
    Starfighter Pilot
    • Nov 2004
    • 95

    Story Challenge - Crucifiction

    Okay, here (finally) is the first bit of my story. It is both small and imperfectly formed :) All comments very welcome. More may well appear soon (ish)...



    Alex stood on tip-toes and strained to see over the crowd. The prefab polyplastic crucifix strapped to the foot of Nelson’s column was the centre of attention. Above, TV helicopters circled. A handful of policemen, self-conscious in their fluorescent jackets, ringed the base of the ancient pillar. The naked form of the old man nailed to the cross did not move. The whole scene struck Alex as overly fetishistic.

    A tall, elegant man elbowed his way through the crowd until he stood beside Alex,

    “My train was late. Bloody Virgin. What did I miss?�

    Before Alex could reply, the elderly woman in front of them turned round and confided in them,

    “Nothing really. Bloody waste of time, if you ask me.� They hadn’t, thought Alex. The woman flashed them a jovial grin and went on,

    “It’s old hat, this crucifixion lark. This messiah mess has been done to death, don’t you think? We’re even recycling our messiahs now, eh? Bloody global warming.�

    Alex nodded, absently, and looked up at the figure slumped on the cross, his face downcast.

    “It does seem a trifle second-hand. Too much time, too few ideas?�

    The woman became serious, and turned to face Alex,

    “Anyway, he’s not as handsome as the original feller. Brian, wasn’t it?�

    Alex listened to the excited murmur of the crowd. Infants perched on parents’ shoulders, bouncing eagerly, or searched for stigmata upon their tiny palms. Pigeons fluttered overhead, sometimes landing on the cross itself to perch and preen disinterestedly, or merely to shit on the crowd.

    “Perhaps that’s what being a messiah is all about�, Alex said. “A fall-guy. Or at best a proxy for something else, something beyond. A god, or an idea.�

    The old woman snorted and turned back to regard the stricken corpse with dark, intense eyes.

    “Then why the buggery did they choose Richard Branson?�

    PART 1

    Voice-over: “Hello and welcome to another episode of Celebrity Crucifixion, hosted by famed TV historian and international sex-symbol, Alex West.�

    [Canned applause]

    Alex: “Hi there, celeb fans! We’ve got a great line-up for you today. First of all, let’s meet our three contestants. Number One, what’s your name and where do you come from?�

    Number One: “Hi Alex, hi everybody! My name is Britney and I’m a movie star and UN ambassador from Kentwood, Louisiana.�

    Alex: "Great. And may I say just how good you are looking for your age! Now, Number Two, what's your name and where do you come from?"

    Number Two: "Hello. My name is Richard and I'm a retired oil baron, music producer and transport tycoon, all the way from England, Europe."

    Alex: "Well hello, Richard. Let's just hope our picker has, shall we say, refined tastes."

    [Raucous canned laughter]

    Alex: "And last but not least: Number Three, what's your name and where do you come from?"

    [Camera pans down to bio-tank]

    Number Three: "Hi Alex. My name is Donald and I'm an ex-politician, now an adult magazine editor, from Washington DC."

    Alex: "Well hi there, Don. I can't help but noticing you're not the man you once were."

    Number Three: "Well that's right, but my mind is every bit as good as it used to be."

    Alex: "You old charmer. Well let's just hope our lovely picker goes for brains over brawn!"

    [More canned laughter]
  • Grey Mouser
    Champion of the Balance
    • Dec 2003
    • 1433

    You're off to a fine start here CFC. I guess this is a more extreme celebrity version of those sometimes torturous Japanese shows. 8O

    I went back on my determination to not read anyone else's story until I finished mine. I was taking too long and finally cracked out of curiosity. :roll:

    When's the next part?